Sanskrit MEDIUM: Silence and Written Communication
- We had been talking but there was never any communication in any real sense. Just talking of weather, politicians, clothes etc in a very cautious/formal manner is a very general/meaningless talk.
- I would like to communicate as I have always wanted.
- Let us see if it is possible to communicate in silence.
- The aim is genuine communication, not just talking!
Aim
To develop understanding and healthy communication
- It was repeatedly observed that communication had become impossibly difficult.
- Any attempt to normalize it complicated it even further!
Diagnosis
Impossibility of communication
- For as far as I can remember, I was struggling to communicate to people in general and close family in particular.
- I do not remember any instance of genuine discussion with mutually agreed conclusion.
- Please understand that I am not blaming people! I suspect the medium of communication. Let us try written medium for the sake of experiment to restore communication.
My various repeated failed attempts to communicate.
Any attempt to communicate always ended in:
- Meaningless silence
- Truce
- My saying repeatedly "at least listen to me!" etc.
- People acted as if they already knew what I had to say, and thus would interrupt me in the middle by jumping ahead or by speaking cutting short concluding remarks.
- Some vague remark about me as person rather than about the specific matter/point/subject being communicated and/or under consideration.
- Statements like "this is what you say".
- I have said "let there be written comments about 40yp", only learned and much experienced Dr. Shiv Prasad Bharadwaj ji has taken it seriously and given valuable comments in writing.
- I also remember saying "then let us talk in writing, when we have to exercise so much caution while talking".
- It was said that let 40yp etc be discussed with people as it relates to them. I agree that 40yp relates to people in general. But does that mean we can not convey our views? Or that we have to necessarily discuss any such matter only with people at large?
Possible underlying reasons
- When there is so much problem in communication and when almost always it leads to skirmishes, frictions and sparks, it points out to some underlying reasons.
- The reasons may be deep dis-satisfactions with respect to high materialistic (including so called family life with so called wife and child).
Grid vs Individual
Grid is another name for peers, majority, 'normal' (actually average) people etc.
Treatment
Started on December 2010
It was a spontaneous insight that, let there be silence.
Current status in Aprli 2011
- Silence and written words are proving better for communication.
- I am very happy as I am able to concentrate on my unfinished projects.
- I do not know how long it will last.
It is is not fight!
- I am a very sensitive, silent, creative and academic person. Shouting and talking loudly is never my habit. Yet I was always provoked (may be unknowingly) to react sharply and then accused of speaking loudly!
- Democratic argument, that majority is always right or normal is misleading. If that be agreed then no invention or discovery or even a work of art/literature is ever normal.
- My conviction is indicated by 40yv, JHF and SRM etc. It is not targeted against any specific people, it is a general philosophy. Still I am surprised to note that I am always targeted as a person? Please understand that person is not same as philosophy!
- So if some people view this silence as fight or one more ajeeb (idiosyncratic) behavior of mine then its their problem and I am in no way responsible for it.
Still my conclusions are
We are just different, neither opposite nor adversaries. I just happen to be in extreme minority.
- People are not wrong, they never are, so am I.
- We just happen to have different languages, dictionaries, definitions, contexts, values etc.
It is withdrawal
- I become silent or withdraw when I sense unsurmountable or futile barrier.
- It is not that I could not join military and fight, it was against my conscience.
- It is not that I could not do business in Delhi, I was against my convictions and vision.
- Also see Gita (2.58).
Why full silence?
Because partial silence is not practically possible. One does not know where to stop. And very soon we can find ourselves slipping to the middle of same useless arguments etc.
Other means are on
Speech is not the only mode to communicate. Actions and body language also communicate.
Quote
- "If you do not understand my silence, you shall not understand my words!", a famous quotation.
- Please do not pressurize me emotionally by saying things like "I do not care for mother" etc.
- This once again points out to the same problem, lack of understanding. We do not understand but we pressurize!
Vaangmaya and Manas Tapa as Tapas for purification
Gita verses 17.15 and 17.16.
Kind of living always in Vipassana meditation!
Symbolic of no real communication even in speaking!
My silence at audio frequency can also be seen as a symbol of no real communication in last many years among us.
Speech versus written medium
Cons or weaknesses of verbal speech medium
No record
I have observed it many times that there were bitter disagreements whether some thing was said or not! In written communication this is not possible.
High volume
Possibility of high volume to influence, attack or even defend.
Power of Tone
- By use of tone we communicate much more than mere words.
- Tone is a gift of nature that is too powerful to convey emotions very easily almost effortlessly while speaking fluently in mother tongue.
- At the same time, by the same token, it is very easy to slip also! Because it is possible to speak even without due deliberation or weighing the words.
- But this power also need responsibility that is not exercised with appropriate care and caution.
Possibility of undue psychological influence
Depending upon the vertical notion of seniority etc it is possible to have upper hand while speaking.
Interrupts
One can be interrupted thus hampering the communication.
Unequal opportunity to speak
- This does not give equal opportunity to both the sides to speak. More often the time is also limited. This leaves at-least one party dissatisfied as it is not able to communicate what was desired to the extent it was desired.
- Whereas in written communication there are no such problems only if people have genuine intentions to communicate and understand other side.
Misinterpretation
- Tone leads to different interpretations of same words!
- But when they are interpreted in some manner one may say that I never said these words! Whereas in effect the words to that effect may have either been said or interpreted.
- This can lead to lots of communication obstacles and psychological complexes among people.
Speech bombs!
- In this case the attacker immediately withdraws after quickly saying some thing that hurts. Reference: Chapter 23 Ek Titikshu Brahman Ka Itihas, Srimadbhagavatam - Skandh 11.
- The attacker only wants to say, but does not want to listen.
Less time available -> Needs instant interpretation
This is almost never possible, leading to miscommunication.
Advantages of written communication
Record
- There is no problem of 'I did not say like that or those words'!
- Also good for self reflection.
More time available -> Better interpretation
There is more time to interpret without the additional processing of spoken tone!
Less is more
Lesser amount of words ensures better quality of communication.
No waste of mental bandwidth/time
It needs some effort to communicate.
Communicate in depth/detail to your satisfaction
- Speech medium hardly gives opportunity to communicate in complete depth/detail as one would want to. There are practical reasons also for this as time may not always be available to both parties.
- I have always wanted to communicate deeper issues but never found it feasible. Now I hope if others wish then they can read what I write and exactly know what I feel without any fear of misinterpretation.
No use of phone
Interrupts
- A phone call can randomly interrupt current focus.
- It gives unrestricted access to callers.
Likely questions
Why talking with visitors
Please understand that I am not against speaking per se. My aim is meaningful communication. If I find visitors are just wasting my time, accusing me etc, I shall not talk to them.
How long will it last?
- Nothing predecided. If and when I feel comfortable and sure that we can talk with mutual respect and decorum (no jhunjhalana/loud volume) with honesty (no diplomacy), frankness (saying what is true not what is considered appropriate) and fairness without blaming (directly or indirectly) then I may start talking.
- Otherwise I am very comfortable in communicating like this.
- Also may be, if and when in future, some thing happens that is viewed as success by people then their behavior will change, I do not know.
- I am very successful in my own way and I hold my self in very high esteem. That is the reason I am so creative/productive in my endeavors even though there is hardly ever any moral/psychological support.
- May be one day my work will lead to what people may interpret as 'worldly success' then they will change, I do not know. Like in IIT I was happily busy in Physics/Math but that was interpreted as success by people.
- All I can say is that mental peace is most dear and essential for any one including me, not only for creativity but even for mere survival in healthy manner.
Request cum suggestion
- Please take this whole exercise in a positive manner.
- Take it as a new experiment to restore health of communication.
- It is not a fight! Take it as a healthy game if you can.